i am a mess.

                                 what to do???

do you still think about me?

reflex, an old habit if you will

i had that reflex moment today. it wasn't when we were hugging, it was when you were sitting close to me looking off onto the screen. and i know you didn't even notice it, not that you would have anyways. your head was a bit lower than mine and close enough to reach. it felt so natural to just lean my head over and kiss the top of yours. and i almost did, until i realized i couldn't anymore. it was an old habit for someone you felt so comfortable with so long ago.

do you miss it?

i'm still holding

                                to be honest, i can't see how this could be fair

             im still alone and you seem to be just fine

                          dont ask me to think these good intentions will change everything

                  this could be the last time that i hold my breath and wait for you

                                 yeah, i stay awake and hold my breath for you       

                                 im drowning myself with thoughts of you and your company